So here's an idea Rook and I came up sometime last year while crafting japes at the expense of overdramatic abstractions in Tahereh Mafi's "Shatter Me." Why not make questionable or out-of-context descriptions into drinks?
The Porfirio family record was massive and unevenly bound together, several different papers and diaries all fit into one tome. It gave the impression a hard shake might send everything flying out onto the floor. The cover was decorated with the Porfirio name and golden scrawl, much newer than most of the pages.