For better or worse, it’s Scott Fitzgerald’s birthday today–author of “The Great Gatsby,” or at least the bits his wife Zelda didn’t write. To be perfectly honest, they both sound like the kind of people you would want to go to a party with but the people you would absolutely not want to be your minders for said party.

So, in honor of the dubious Fitzgeralds, channel the essence of decadence, green motifs, and strangely-placed Christ allusions today to rustle up some Gilded Age writing at your leisure.

• Let’s get married.
• Crashing
• Be the host
• Crude and crumbling
• Gifts
• Persona non grata
• Drug