Sometimes, the world just doesn’t understand writers. Most of the time, writers don’t understand writers. Or taxes, usually. But if you write, you might have to come to terms with some bizarre and unfortunate truths.
- You might not know this, but if you get bad enough at numbers, you get negative points towards writing ability. One of my greatest fears is that I will one day make a “7 Microprompts” post that does not in fact contain seven microprompts.
- You will reach a point in your life where you will not be able to unsee the skeleton of any book you read or movie you watch. This is an inevitability, and you must resign yourself to angrily spoiling endings before you see them. Your friends, too, if you’re bitter.
- I make most of my stories by putting together a list of unrelated plot ideas and then trying to explain the scenario where they all come together. This explains a lot about my writing.
- You might forget to eat, sleep, or shower once the Big Project (TM) gets off the ground. This is fine; you can live off pure creative energy (until you can’t).
- I’ve spent so long editing one problematic chapter from a novel that I have the first three pages memorized. It haunts me at night.
- There will always be a better writer than you. It might be Neil Gaiman, or it might be you, three years from now.
Well, I feel better now I’ve gotten that off my chest. Editing is a prickly, mean-spirited housemate, but you should never be afraid to write garbage, kids. Until the next Writer Confessions!